These recordings were previously released in a different form on the united
dairies label

                  LIKE SOLOMON? THE OLD BITCH SPAT

SCENARIO:  An old and dusty room.  Shelves crammed with dull and dust
 carpeted books.  An old school globe is in the middle of the room, seated
 on an old rocking horse.  Large idols, again dusty, are nailed to the walls:
 buddha, jesus, krishna, a cloth portrait of mao and a big plastic micky
 mouse.
CHARACTERS:  EGG, a man holding a large broken egg timer.  He wears
 a dingy and frayed white shirt, and a greasy black suit.  Greasy lank hair.
                ID, a young man, about twenty five years old, dressed in
 a 19th century bohemian fashion.  His face is buried in his face and hands
 most of the time.  His neck is stiff.



EGG:  Not at the end of my tether.  Early days yet.  (Looks at egg timer)
 See - it's still early.  Wheel not broken, golden bowl still fills with water.
ID:  You always look on the bright side of things!  Be realistic, old man.
 Mind at the end of its tether.  It's pointless erecting those diamante
 umbrellas in the face of this storm.  And stop scratching your crutch,
 crab glans.
EGG: (annoyed).  What I do with my body is MY business.  It's pointless
 being down for the sake of it - at the end of your tether so to speak.
 My memory is good, my forehead grows long into the old days.  The
 grasshoppers have not yet turned into locusts.  The goat's milk is
 plentiful; sour, I admit, but still plentiful.  Enjoy yourself, have a NICE
 time.
ID:  You'd drive me to the end of my tether, but I shan't let you.
 Grasshoppers still squeal, but no longer comfort in their squealing.
 All the lights went out in the street.  The almond tree lost its leaves,
 slowly at first, until it realised it must bow to the inevitable.  The
 daughters of music broke wind.  After the rain, more clouds: as goads,
 or nails.
EGG:
     (together)  The silver cord is loosed.
ID :
EGG:  The locust is now the burden.
ID:  Weariness of flesh, at the end of its tether.

EGG and ID then move to the globe.  And stand either side of it.
A handsome jesus wheels a crucifix onto the stage.  A roman soldier
is crucified on it.  Jesus pokes the roman between his spears with a rib.
Jesus pulls out his vagina, slowly chanting:

                                 MALDOROR
                                 MALDOROR
                                 MALDOROR
                                 TU AS FAIM
                                 MALDOROR

All four bodies then dissolve.  The room changes the ancient of days.
Oil then drops from his beard, crying "Holy, Holy, Holy."