monologues - BBF3

this monologue takes the form of an interview with blaise bailey finnegan the third; the interviewer's words are in a stronger font, while BBF3's words are in a normal font.

well...where are you coming from?

...well...i don't like the way the country's ran, don't you know, and, erm...that's pretty much what i was expressing in my poem. the government...the american government - they're sneaky, they're very deceitful, they're liers, they're cheats, they're rip-offs. i mean, the american government is one systematic government that...that nobody can trust. i don't trust them myself.

and how long have you been writing for?

huh?

how long have you been writing for?

since i was four.

d'you do this sort of thing a lot, like, open-mic kinda questions?

oh i love open-mics, i love coming here to do open-mics, absolutely.

what kind of reactions d'you usually get?

usually, people are...are pretty much in agreement with what i'm saying.

we overheard you before talking about...you went to court today for a speeding ticket...?

that's accurate.

right. d'you wanna tell us that story?

yes, absolutely, i wouldn't mind telling you the story. erm...i went to court today for a speeding ticket, and i told the judge, erm..."let me tell you something, and you listen and you listen good, i'm only gonna say this one time and one time only, i don't repeat myself for nobody," i said. i says..."i'm here to pay a speeding ticket, not to listen to your lectures and hear you run your mouth for an hour." i says "i'm here to pay off my speeding ticket...and i'm here to get my fines out of the way and get the fuck to work." the judge says "you can't talk like that in my courtroom, you're in contempt of court." then i said...i told the judge, "if that's the best you can do, i feel sorry for you." i said "why don't you just shut your fucking mouth for once and listen." i said "i'm not gonna take any shit." i said "i'm gonna pay my speeding ticket like i said." i walked up to the god damn judge and i hand him my 25 dollars and i says "here's my money, now i am leaving."
and i left it at that...
...then, before i left, i turned around and told the judge "i'm here to state who i am and be honest with you." i said "if they thought i was dangerous on the road like you're trying to accuse me of, wouldn't they have taken my license when i first got it? yes they would. and the judge says "yeah, you have a point," he goes "you don't need to get loud," i said "don't get loud?" i says "i've got every right to get loud." i says "you can't do a god damn thing about it, because i'm expressing myself in your court, and there is nothing you can do about it. you think you're god because you have a robe and you can put people up the god damn river for 20 years? well you're not."
and i left it at that...

did you walk away?

yes i did...i don't like the judicial system, i don't like the government system, i don't like the police, i don't like anything to do with this country's government. i just don't like it, because...they're sneaky, like i said - they're deceitful, they're lying, they're cheats, the rip people off. that's the american government for you. america is a third world country, and people don't recognise it...and i think that that's pretty god damn sad, that they don't recognise their own country as a third world, third rate, third class slum.

well...d'you have any weapons?

yes, i do. i own a high-powered assault rifle, i own a 12-gauge double barrel shotgun, i own a regular shotgun, i own a regular hunting rifle, i own a 9 milimetre, a 357, a 45 handgun, a 38 special, and, erm...i own an m-16 fully automatic ground assault rifle...

d'you think things are gonna get better before they get worse?

no way. things are just gonna get worse and keep on getting worse. like i said, america's a third world country as it is and...and we're just basically in a hopeless situation as it stands.

what d'you think this country's gonna look like in the year 2003?

y'know, i'll tell you the truth - nothing against you guys, but i don't wanna answer that question because...i haven't even got a mind that's that...that inhumane.

are you ready for what's coming?

ready as i'll ever be.

most people aren't.

there's a little saying...dates back for generations...

go on...

be prepared for anything at any time from anybody, don't take no shit, always stand your ground. people wanna come up to me and run their mouth - guess what? i'll throw them through the fucking window...i won't think a thing of it.

would you mind reciting your poem for us?

not at all, i don't see why...i don't see why i couldn't.

there's an evil virus that's threatening mankind
it's not state of the art, it's a serious state of the mind
the muggers, the backstabbers, the two faced elite
a menace to society, a social disease
to brainwash the mind is a social disorder
the cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order
watching beginnings of social decay
gloating and sneering at life's disarray
eating away at your own self esteem
pouncing on every word that you might be saying
to attack someones mind is a social disorder
the constitution, the government, martial law order
superficially smiling a shake of the hand
as soon as your back is turned treason is planned
when every good thing's laid to rest
by the governments hate, by the constitution and their lies
and every time you think you're safe
and when you go to turn away
you know they're sharpening all their knives
all in your mind
all in your head
try to relate it
all in your mind
all in your head
try to escape it
without a conscience they destroy
and that's a thing that they enjoy
they're a sickness that's in all of our minds
they want to sink the ship and leave
the way they laugh at you and me
you know it happens all the time
but it only happens in your mind
the rats in the cellar you know who you are...
or do you?
watching beginnings of social decay...

thank you for your time

NOTE: "his" poem which he recites at the end of this monologue is, in fact, not a poem by him at all, but an almost straight recital of the lyrics to virus by iron maiden. "Virus" was written by Blaze Bayley, former Iron Maiden vocalist, but the man on the recording is not actually Blaze.

(huge thanks to lornicus, erik, andi, patrick and bert for their help with transcribing this monologue).

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