Newness Ends - Complete Lyrics
Caring and forgiving aren't the same
I can see the causes and assign the blame
As soon as I stop worrying I'm okay
And all this happens in half a day
But as soon as I start shaking I'm a mess
I can't contain these things under this stress
Seeing and believing aren't the same
When I see you I don't believe you were to blame
Not this time anyway
For how long do you tell yourself that you're moral
For as long as you can stay out of real trouble
That's why I don't think you should be condemned
But when I see you I won't believe you ever again
-Matt Kadane
Between the nameless and the icons
The manholes and the pylons
This is where I belong
Under the sidewalk and the power lines
Behind the window and the window blinds
There's no room for right or wrong
Now I'm standing on the third floor
I can't make decisions anymore
I can't remember how I used to function
They're filling in the trench in the street
The tar smells bittersweet
Which is the nature of reconstruction
They're smoothing over twenty years of cracks
As they build more right into their backs
I used to know if this was right or wrong
I'm looking out from the inside
All I want is a place to hide
All I know is that I don't belong
-Matt Kadane
The pattern on this rug tells a story
It's gory chaos but ordered and hoary
And I hate it but strangely respect it like Gasoline
Now I'm lying in the fetal position
I know I never should have been a musician
When I knew my ears would lose their audition
Gasoline
I like the way you smell
Gasoline
I never knew I knew you so well
We always know just what to do
Until the future comes
Now look what we've been through
Only cowards seek refuge in a second language
I should have learned how to speak my native one
I was afraid I wouldn't know how to use my tongue
Gasoline
You're more than a finished product
Running down the aqueduct
What I should do and what I do are like brothers
They're driven by so much more than they're needed
That they're blinded they can't see they're both
driven by
Gasoline leaking through an empty tank
Gasoline
The future's never what I think
I thought we knew what we were doing
But we've considered the unthinkable
-Matt Kadane
There are certain times I wish for release
At least just some sleep
It just shouldn't take so long
I wish I could turn off and on
It's so dark I can't even see
How all the colors turn to greys
It's so dark I don't know if I believe
I'm here anyway
If there's nothing to be
But as distracted as you can be
Then I can't lose myself
In so much empty space
I know more than I want to
And I don't need any more
What can I give in exchange
For a simple life
Never know a time beyond today
I don't mean it like it sounds
If it sounds like I want it easy
I mean simple in my head
Not simple for my hands
But there's nothing to be
But as distracted as you can be
I never thought I would say what I'm saying now
I never thought I would think what I'm thinking now
-Bubba Kadane
When I was younger I never wondered
About the ways I was trapped
I thought I was moving
My skin was improving
On my face and on my back
But the one thing I never lacked
Was the faith you'd always come back
How could I have been so wrong
Ten years later I'm not more a savior
I still can't convince the dead not to die
I thought I was growing
My age has been showing
Is that just a way age can lie
What led me to feel so secure
This was the one thing we couldn't insure
How could have been so wrong
As I get older should I get bolder
Or will disappoint be even worse
And once I start shrinking
Should I start thinking
That expectations never die
-Matt Kadane
Some things arise
And certain people devise
While others resign themselves
To design
But whatever the meaning to them
It doesn't mean anything to us
We know things happen for no reason
But obey the same calculus
That says one plus one minus one equals one
It was over just as soon as it had begun
Numbers disappear
Just as soon as they were here
And some of them remain
And some are never the same
But whatever the meaning for them
It doesn't mean anything to us
They count with their fingers
But we have our own abacus
That says one plus one minus one equals one
It was over just as soon as it had begun
-Matt Kadane
Of the acceptable reactions to tragedy
Gardening, the priesthood and insanity
Look what you've chosen
Just to be disingenuous to the letter
I can't force you to fail or force you to shut up
And I don't want you to fail
I want you to show up
But you're making a choice to which it's hard not to
stick
How can a true confidant be unworthy of trust
How can such a simpering git get what he wants
I can't force you to fail or force you to show up
And I don't want you to fail
I want you to shut up
But you're making a choice to which I hope you don't
stick
-Matt Kadane
Out in the driveway this house doesn't have
I wash the car that I don't own
I keep myself busy
You talk on the phone
And lose track of time
I get lost in the foam
I watch the water run through the cracks
Down to the curb
Past the painted address that's fading undisturbed
Down to the end of the street
Where neighbors I don't have and I meet
Into the sewer beneath the block that doesn't exist
Now I'm in the cat box panning for gold
At least in cat years I'm four years old
The dream I had last night I'll have again
Not knowing what it means to dream of a life
I'd never want to begin
-Matt Kadane
Can you smell the salt air
Close but never quite there
Birds are flying off course
There's no one here at the fair
I sense that I'm being led
Into the hammerhead
Its jaws are dripping with rust
That beast needs to be fed
There's no need to give me that look
I'm the one on tenterhooks
I hold onto the rail
The metal starts to fail
As soon as we reach the top
I feel the hammer drop
Can you hear the steel groan
Everyone knows the carnival eats its own
-Matt Kadane
I don't need these things if I'll lose them again
This house looks like a bankrupt museum
But I'm not like you
I don't want to go zen
This is what happens when the newness ends
And in my defense you were the one
But there's no difference because I'm not done
I'm gonna clean my room and get me a friend
This is what happens when the newness ends
And you can't see that I won't be that way for you
again
We watched the rust get covered in frost
When you lose your lust you're never so lost
When the day's as long as this is wrong
There are things still here but everything's gone
Is this what happens when you have a friend
This is what happens when the newness ends
And you can't see that you won't be that way for me
again
-Matt Kadane
All songs copyright Kadane/Kadane (Bedhead Songs, ASCAP)