Henry Rollins
Friday 1/29/99, Unity Temple Kansas City, MO
review written - 2/1/99Saw Rollins on 1/29 in Kansas City. Great show, very funny 2 hours and 40 minutes in a church with about 750-800 people. No, I didn't tape it due to lack of decent equipment, but I should have because I was in a balcony within 25 ft or so of him. The crowd was very receptive with no heckling ...
The show could be broken down into 4 main topics: travel, acting, men and women, growing up. Some of it I've heard before, but as usual it doesn't matter because it's told a little differently each time. Here's all the bits and pieces I can remember:
Travel
- Talked about how sad it is that everywhere he goes in the world everyone speaks perfect English whereas in the US most people cannot.
- Moscow - he did a few spoken shows there last year. It was weird because there was like a 7 second delay between him and the translation that the audience received via headphones. He re-visited Alexander, a Moscow dj who is the one and only source of 'underground' music. He gave Rollins a cd of his polka music (Rollins - "is it any good?", Alexander - "no, but I'm trying", Rollins - "right on man!"). The underground subway system there is fast, he talked about fighting your way on to trains through gangs of short, stocky Russian women with bags of onions ("you never see tall, thin, old Russian women ... what happens to these women?)
- Israel - he went all over the place visiting the sites like the Wailing Wall and the last place Jesus was seen walking. He talked about how that really puts the American 400 year history in perspective when you're looking at something that is 2000 years or older. Tangents - the Martin Luther King Jr. hotel in Memphis, a building in Washington DC that Ian and Rollins used to see shows, the site of JFK jr's shooting in Dallas (places of a historic nature, but nothing compared to the history and vibe in Israel).
- Talked about customs in Moscow and Israel. In Moscow the employees seemed pissed off that Rollins had been to so many places (from looking at his passport/visa) that they will never see. In Isreal heavily armed soldiers looked through everything.
- Cairo - somewhere he's wanted to go since childhood, so he called the agent and said "make it happen" (same with Israel). Checked out the sphinxes, ruins, pyramids, etc. He talked about how lazy Americans are in comparison to people who gave their entire lives to build a pyramind or wall. His tour guide that drove them around told Rollins that he'd never seen driving/traffic anywhere in the world like Cairo. He was right. Rollins explained how in Cairo there would be 7 lanes worth of cars packed into a 3 lane space, how they were all right next to each other ("you could reach over and slap the driver next to you") and red lights were pretty meaningless there.
Acting
- He changed his attitude for trying to get movie parts, instead of going all out at the auditions he goes in with an indifferent attitude (like they're wasting his time) and that gets him more parts than before.
- Briefly talked about his part as the coach in "Frost".
- "Desperate But Not Serious" - someone asked him if he wanted to meet Claudia Schiffer and he said no because he had nothing to say to her.
- "Welcome to Paradox" tv show - re-told how he was dressed up as a future doctor (sandals, robes, etc) and had to walk on the streets of downtown Vancouver to get to his trailer.
- "Morgan's Ferry" - Hank was recommended by Billy Zane (who as it turns out is a big fan). It's a big part and everyone thought he was going to fuck up the movie (the casting guy went ahead and gave him the part as kind of a joke) but it turns out he does a great job. He talked for a long time about his first nude scene and how it took many takes for him to do it right (the funniest part of the show!)
Men and Women
- Women seem to just suddenly become women effortlessly while guys have a much more difficult time becoming men ("what? I have to get up at 8:00 am now?") Men regress into primate stages the closer they get to a beautiful woman (he did a great wild monkey impression to illustrate this point). Much more that I can't recall ...
Growing Up
- Rollins will be 38 on 2.13.99. He talked about how a female friend visited his place and 'graded' it. Every room got an F. She made him go out and buy a bed to replace his ancient futon and sheets. The bed is so comfortable that he hallucinated that it was talking to him demaning real shelves and curtains. He once again thoroughly explained how his place is set up, how simple it is. Talked about stealing toilet paper because he refuses to buy it (as well as dress socks which he has 1 pair that a fan sent him).
Misc tidbits that were in the above sections (he went off on many different tangents within each story that I lost track of where a lot of the pieces fit):
- Religion - covered the Buddhas in Thailand again breifly, discussed Catholic girls and re-told the junior high school dance story, when he first came out on the church stage he said something like "lets just take in this atomsphere for a bit" and then talked about how he doesn't believe in religion himself but he thinks that if there is God that God digs him.
- Rollins would like to have a B-52 to bomb Iraq with Coletrane and Hendrix cds ("how could you hate people who liked Coltrane?")
- He dissed Republicans at one point, but also mentioned that he wasn't a Democrat and how they were all bastards. He also dissed the Cure at one point (as usual).
- He talked about what he called the "10% cool factor", how you're really only about 10% as cool as you think you are.
- It's funny how Larry Flint (head of Hustler magazine) has become the moral meter for the US.
- The 70's was his generation and he's proud of that (which led into making fun of most of the 80's bands and a story about him and Ian going to really bad new wave clubs in DC).
- A couple of very short drugs/alcohol/racism sucks statements and stories.
- Talked about the gorgeous airline attendants on Germany's airline. They seemed to mock all the men because they knew that none of the men would ever have them.
- If Rollins ever had a kid, he wouldn't let people talk baby talk to him/her. He'd read books and play Coletrane to the baby instead.
- Talked about how people like Jerry Lee Lewis were what rock and roll was all about ... crazy motherfuckers.
Well, that's about all I can dig out of my crusty brain cells. Very funny stuff, it gets more comedic every time. Go to the shows!