If elected
- I'd get a law in to have anyone who didn't have a hand in writing that song who described it as 'nausea' publicly flogged. Not whipped, you understand, but flogged to Collectors on Ebay...
- All daytime DJ's would be executed by guillotine and their heads displayed at branches of HMV which would then all be exploded with bombs made by Thorn EMI in an interactive Duchampian installation.
- Gilbert & Lewis would be given the sounds of the explosions to remix. The public would all be fed the results via Radio 1-4 for a week solid.
- They'd be quite free to call it 'boring' we can't be having fascism now can we not unless we lie like a Blair!
- Next I'd ban fox hunting and have all former hunters chased thru the hills by naked Asian youths from Oldham astride honking elephants, whilst tree huggers blast 'Dearth of the Cold' by Ocsid from ghetto blasters amongst the leaves. Once run to ground the red coat scum would be slowly eviscerated and left to rot, Brian Ferry especially. The government would make a coat from his pelt and present it to Eno with an MBE in loving respect of his devotion to lost cause moneyspinners like James & U2.
- Then I'd have a Dome installation at 'The Dome' and invite everyone from this list for free at the 'expense of the tax payer' (sic).
- MacDonalds would be forced to distribute lentils to the homeless, and all their shops would be converted to drop in centres for junkies and others in need of excess fat.
- Copies of the first Killing Joke album would be given to everyone in preparation for the coming apocalypse.
- Work would be abolished by automation, and a tape loop robot installed at 10 Downing Street.
We don't promise anything but the best!
"The best what?" said kids on TV.
The country went to the dogs.