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Hair Police, "Certainty of Swarms"

cover imageIt comes as no surprise that this Kentucky based trio has produced a slab of blown speaker noise rock that parents and small animals will be disgusted with.  However, something can be unsurprising and yet still be completely satisfying, and I don’t think anyone who enjoys music is petitioning for a “Hair Police covers A Flock of Seagulls” album.  Although, that would probably be pretty awesome.

 

No Fun Productions

Instead, the opening of “Strict” sets the tone that the remainder of the album will follow:  A guitar tortured into a repeating shriek, a bassline that’s so overdriven that it muffles the rapid-fire drums, and screamed vocals that may or may not be actual words.  The air-raid siren guitar is almost like a warning for everyone around to get the fuck out, though the chaotic sludge around makes escape impossible.

The band retreats a bit for “Intrinsic to the Execution,” which gives a little more room to breathe and a slower pace.  Showing a greater ear for structure, the opening swell of distorted bass and controlled feedback, later being met with harsh screams and sustained electronic tones.  Continuing the feel of slow menace, it’s almost like a metal band covering early MB or Ramleh in a garage somewhere.

The overly lo-fi recording of “Paralysis Simulacrum” sounds like it is employing a bit of the ol’ metal junk percussion here and there, but that could just be shitty drum mic’ing. This, plus the gurgling vocals and electronic pulses sound ready to break out into a full on blast of some unclean rock/noise hybrid variety, but never reaches that point, instead staying restrained and leaving the listener with a case of blue balls.

“Mangled Earth,” at least, gives the climax desired:  though the sustained guitar noise and oscillator bass line remain the dominant element for the most part, the concession to blasting spazz-core drumming towards the end is much more relieving and satisfying.  The closing “Freezing Alone,” for all its noise elements, sounds more in-line with the current crop of doom metal, both on the vocal tone and thick guitar and bass distortion, though the insane rapid-fire drumming causes the pace to be a bit different than any other similar band.

There’s no real crossover appeal or severe innovation going on here.  It is essentially a by-the-numbers noise and rock hybrid that, while not doing anything new, does a lot of things very well.  And part of those things it does well includes destroying speakers and causing children to run in terror, which, as Martha Stewart would say, is a very good thing.

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