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Rosie Thomas, "If Songs Could Be Held"
If Songs Could Be Held is an incredibly bad album. Granted some of the music is pleasant and the entire disc is well produced but the songs are boring and mediocre at the best of times. Thomas is one of those too serious but not interesting enough singer songwriters that are ten a penny these days. There are dozens like her in every city, anyone can go see another identikit performer for free so there's no point in wasting money on this.
Sub Pop
What bugged me most about Rosie's songwriting is the amount of clichés that she uses both in her lyrics and in her music. “Pretty Dress” is about not being accepted when you’re young and growing up to get your prince in the end. Pass the sick bucket please. Equally cringe and vomit inducing is “Let It Be Me,” a cover of the Gilbert Becaud song. A male voice duets with Thomas and he manages to sound as bored as I feel, it’s like Thomas slipped a couple of Valium into his drink prior to recording.
I’d love to find something on this album to enjoy but it is one painful song after another. Thomas’ earnest singing is a chore to listen to, she tries to worm in as many quivers and wobbles to her voice to let whoever is listening know that she is really feeling the power of her songs. The problem is there is absolutely no power to her songs. As a result her overwrought vocals sound trite and devoid of any real emotion. On “Tomorrow” she sings: “Birds fly above you/Love is around you/I would like to be too,” which is a terrible set of lyrics and Thomas does it no favours by having virtually no presence with her singing. As well as that, she warbles the word “above” so badly that I want to scratch the CD into being unplayable. No amount of vocal gymnastics can save a weak song from being anything other than a weak song (not that her singing is impressive enough to qualify for gymnastics).
If Songs Could Be Held is a wishy-washy excuse for an album. Rosie Thomas is a hackneyed songwriter who should be lucky to be playing open mic nights let alone getting a contract with a large record label. How she landed such a deal is a mystery to me, especially after being subjected to this CD.
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